"During the whole labour I felt like I was being experimented on"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2001:

I had a terrifying and excruciating experience at the John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford in 2001. Now, nearly a quarter of a century later, I still bear mental and physical scars. I realise that I am fortunate because my daughter survived the ordeal and has grown up healthy and well.

When my waters broke late on a Wednesday night the baby dropped to the left and my bump was distinctly lopsided. On admission to hospital at 2.00am Thursday, we raised concerns about the shape of my bump. I was told it was a long time before anything would happen and that I should lay down and rest. The initial midwife assessment was that my baby was in the normal birth position.

Over 36 hours later, after many painful interventions, the mistake was noticed. My baby was back-to-back with asynclitic head. I had oxytocin to force contractions. Overcome with fatigue and pain I requested an epidural late Thursday night, but it was not available. At this point I had been awake over 40 hours.

By the time the epidural became available in the early hours of Friday morning I was having almost constant contractions. I was told not to move at all during contractions when the epidural was being applied, because if I moved even a fraction I could be paralysed. After enduring this, the epidural did not work anyway, and the pain continued.

Mid-afternoon on Friday the true position of my baby was finally recognised. Lots of staff rushed in. I had to endure an agonising internal examination to confirm the baby’s position and to check that my pelvis was big enough for the baby to pass through. This event was made worse by being pestered to let a student repeat the examination. I kept saying no but they wore me down and consent was achieved under duress. I had to go through the agony again, and I felt violated.

During the whole labour I felt like I was being experimented on as staff tried every tool at their disposal, without success. I do not understand why no one thought to check the position of the baby during the long labour. Instead of investigating why the baby was stuck, they just kept forcing the contractions. My scans during pregnancy had shown that the baby would be big for my frame. She weighed in at 8lb 5oz, it was my first pregnancy and I am only 5ft 2”.

A painful Kielland forceps rotation was performed to deliver my baby. When we saw her, her head was deformed, like a hammerhead shark on one side. We feared brain damage but miraculously there was none. When the placenta was delivered, it was dropped on the floor. My husband said it was a bloodbath, with my blood everywhere. The medics must have estimated my blood loss, which had implications later.

The following day I complained of visual disturbances and collapsing. My complexion was yellow. The doctor said it was a side effect of painkillers so changed the medication. 3 days after the birth, doctors discovered that I was in fact severely anaemic, below the threshold for requiring a blood transfusion. My weakness and vision issues had been symptoms of anaemia, but this had been overlooked. My iron had been at the threshold level on admission, and after what I had been through staff should have been monitoring me closely. I refused a blood transfusion as by now I had no confidence in the medical team. Staff told me that without a transfusion I would not be capable of looking after my baby at home.

Thankfully with the support of my family I was able to withstand this pressure. On arrival home I was too weak to climb stairs daily so I stayed upstairs with my baby for 2 weeks. My husband delivered iron rich meals and did all bathing and nappy changing. I concentrated on breastfeeding exclusively, but my husband had to do the ‘winding’ as I did not have the strength to. I had been looking forward to taking my new baby out in the pram, and having visitors, but it was weeks before I was able to do this. I had had extensive internal and external stitching, back injury, anaemia and traumatic stress.

In the weeks after the birth I remember lying in bed at night crying from the constant pain from the stitches (even when on painkillers). It was not agonising pain, but it was always there. I could not bear to wear jeans for months because of the thick denim seam putting pressure on my scars.

In the first year after the birth I had physiotherapy for back pain and have suffered backache periodically ever since. Now in later life I suffer from stress incontinence. I wish I had been forewarned about the damage done to my pelvic floor during this birth, and perhaps have been able to take some preventative steps.