"I drained the catheter myself at home to remove it because I couldn't take the pain anymore"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2020:

I gave birth to my first child in November 2020. I started labour at Wallingford's midwife unit but asked for a transfer to the JR to receive an epidural.

Upon arriving, the midwife handing over from Wallingford described me as "hysterical" to the midwives working at the JR and they all had a good laugh at my expense.

I don't remember much of the actual birth, I've blocked it out.

My daughter and I had to stay on the delivery ward for 72 hours. I had trouble going to the toilet, a complication of the epidural, so received a catheter. I complained multiple times that it was painful and scratching. I kept being told they'd come check but never did. I was struggling to care for my daughter or myself. They wouldn't watch the baby or help me out of bed. A lack of visitors, due to lockdown, meant I was completely by myself.

Two days later, I still had dried blood on me from the birth because I couldn't clean myself. They let me go home after the three days were up, even though I was still complaining about the painful catheter.

I can't remember all the in between steps that happened but I remember I had a follow up appointment with a bladder specialist nurse or midwife. I couldn't wait until then.

I called to get seen earlier but they refused and insisted the pain was just part of healing from birth. So I used a syringe I had from the lab where I worked and drained the catheter myself at home to remove it because I couldn't take the pain anymore. I instantly felt better. Lucky for me, I quickly regained feeling in my bladder and was able to use the toilet without issue.

What I did was reckless and could've had consequences had I not been able to feel my bladder again. But I was in so much pain, I couldn't think rationally.

I wish they had taken me seriously from the first moment I said something wasn't right with the catheter. And while I understand that lockdown was a challenging time, I wish I didn't have to spend the first days covered in dried, old blood.

Just a little kindness, a little humanity would have made all the difference there.