"I get that the NHS is strained but my word, treating a person like a human being and showing empathy and care should be a given"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2024:

I was already feeling quite nervous about giving birth for two reasons - my baby was breech (and was hoping that he would turn by himself) and secondly after reading snippets of the latest birth report, I was quite concerned that being a person of colour, I would not receive the same quality of care. With that said, I hope that the colour of my skin had nothing to do with the care that I received at the JR.

After a night of a very active baby (unusual for him), in July 2024 I gave birth at the JR. I called at the MAU at around 04h30 when I felt like my waters had broken. I didn’t rush to the hospital as they didn’t really encourage me to do so. My contractions started immediately after my waters broke. I showered and ate some breakfast. By 06h00, as we were leaving for the hospital, I had to wait for a contraction to end before being able to get into the car. I timed my contractions and told the midwives on arrival that they had been 5 minutes apart.

As baby was breech two days prior, they needed that assessed (he was still breech and I requested an elective). In the mean time they attached monitors to my tummy and left my husband and I in a room. They offered me paracetamol which I took. I went to the loo and noticed a brown/ green substance which I was worried about - I took pictures and the student midwife didn’t seem to know what it was and took it to a midwife who was sitting at a computer in the reception area who said “Oh yes that doesn’t look right.” But I don’t actually remember her doing anything about it. She didn’t even turn back to look at me. - I had a birth reflections meeting in which my notes were referred to and I was told that no further actions were recorded - So my husband and I went back into our room.

My contractions seemed to only get more intense. I asked my husband what number the contractions were coming up as on the monitor and he said 15 so I asked him to call the midwife to ask if 15 was the highest number for a contraction. Once again I was seen by a student midwife who moved the monitors and instantly the contraction monitor shot up to 75. She apologised saying that the monitors were not put on correctly and fiddled with the monitors. By this point (08h30) I felt like I could no longer do this and had a strong urge to push. I was then asked if I would like some gas and air. I was then seen by qualified midwives who said that they would like to see how dilated I was (9cm). There was a midwife who helped me breathe through the contractions while on the floor (she spoke calmly and encouragingly in my ear and for this I’m really grateful).

Overall I was quite disappointed at the care that I received from MAU. I was disappointed that it took so long for a qualified midwife to see me. I am disappointed that the student midwives did not listen to me (it’s my body, I can say what it feels like - yes I understand that the monitors are there to help but ultimately I would have liked to have felt like I was being heard).

When it comes to the surgeon and the anaesthetist (and the team) who performed my emergency c section - I could not commend them enough - I am eternally grateful for their professionalism and their ability to keep my husband and I calm and informed (everyone that I have spoken to who has had a c section at the JR has only had good things to say about their anaesthetist and surgery team). This is something that the JR can be very proud of.

The care immediately after surgery - I was just a bit disappointed as the student midwife told me that they could give my son donated breast milk (which I asked for), however the midwife gave him formula without giving me the donated breast milk as an option - and I feel like that set us off into the formula top up trap.

The overnight recovery was by far the most shocking. And everyone I have spoken to has said this. There were two Ghanaian nurses who were so kind and empathetic and actually helpful. The rest lacked empathy and compassion. I asked a nurse to please help me get nappy out and help me change my son. She got the nappy out and left it at the bottom end of my bed and she said “We don’t usually help with this. We encourage mums to get mobile.” And then she left.

I had to try get myself out of bed, grab my catheter bag and the nappy at the end of the bed, make my way around the bed to be able to change my boy. I thought that a c section was considered to be major surgery (I’m really sorry if I have got this wrong). The wait time to get help was very long. And I remember being able to hear the lady next to me, crying and no one even went to have a look to see if she was okay (I would have if I didn’t have to carry my wee bag around with me 🙈).

Then, during the day, I remember the ward being really noisy with toddlers being allowed to run around in the ward (not sure if the midwives could have said anything but it was tough not having slept properly and then having screaming/ crying toddlers running around during the day). People in the ward would buzz for assistance and I walked past the reception and saw the midwives standing and chatting while buzzers were going off.

Before being discharged, the paediatrician asked if I was happy with feeding and I said no. She said that she would ask a midwife to come through to chat to me. A hour went by and nothing. So I buzzed and told the midwife what the paediatrician had said, she said that she would look into it. Another hour went by and someone came to discharge me - I told them that I was not happy with feeding and that I was waiting to be seen.

Another hour (maybe two) went by and still no one had come so when they came around again to discharge me I said nothing because by that point I honestly just wanted to get out of there. I have a friend who had such a horrible experience in this unit that she asked to be discharged less that 24 hours after having another emergency c section.

The second time I was admitted for weight related issues (that ended up not being an issue) - I had my own room and the midwives assigned to me were out of this world. I was so nervous about being back there but they were just so good and put me at such ease.

Overall, I really feel like the JR needs to do a deep dive into their maternity services - they are shocking (and I honestly thought that it was just me but I spoke to my entire NCT group and they all hated the post birth care they received - the only lady who enjoyed her birth experience was a lady who had given birth at the Blue Bell in Warwickshire so not at the JR).

And I appreciate all the posters imploring people to respect the NHS staff but my word I feel like the respect should also be shown to patients. I actually wonder whether those posters have done more harm than good in that the staff feel like they can treat patients however they like because the are protected from “rude patients” (where the patient might actually have legitimate issues with the staff).

I have come from a third world country - and have had to pay for the NHS twice (once on application for a visa - £2,500 and then being taxed on my salary every month). Never ever living in a third world country have I ever received such poor care. I get that the NHS is strained but my word, treating a person like a human being and showing empathy and care should be a given.

It has taken me a while to fully recover and process my birth experience - and to be honest I think that I will always be traumatised by it.