“I have never EVER experienced care like it. It’s so degrading, careless and humiliating.”

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2024:

My labour was long and traumatic as a first-time mum. Progress was slow, which is common, but the care I received on the delivery suite was exceptional. I was offered pain relief when I asked, I felt listened to and supported, and I knew I was in safe hands.

When my baby became distressed and they lost contact with her, I was quickly taken to theatre for an emergency forceps birth. The staff acted quickly and professionally, and although it resulted in rotational forceps, an episiotomy, and a postpartum haemorrhage, I never doubted I was being cared for.

The trauma really began afterwards — and it was preventable.

Only two hours after surgery my husband was told to leave. At 10pm, as a first-time mum, still numb, sore, and traumatised, I was left completely alone with my baby. I was taken to the postnatal ward at 3am in a wheelchair, disorientated, in pain, surrounded by crying babies and sobbing mothers, who all clearly felt the same way. This place was hell. The ward was dark, lonely, and frightening.

Nobody to help. Just left to figure it out on our own.

I have never EVER experienced care like it. It’s so degrading, careless and humiliating.

The midwives were rude and dismissive. I was told abruptly that it was time to dress my baby, but nobody helped me out of bed. Despite asking, I received no support with breastfeeding, and as a hospital who claims to support exclusive breastfeeding so much - they are AWFUL at supporting mums who wish to do so. I ended up sat in the dark, in the middle of the night trying to hand express colostrum into a syringe just to feed my baby because she wouldn’t latch, panicking that I wouldn’t be able to feed my baby. Some midwives snarled at me, judged me, and made passing comments that left me feeling like a terrible mother. At the time when I needed compassion most, I was instead humiliated.

When my catheter was removed, I knew something wasn’t right. I repeatedly told staff that my bladder felt full, but I was dismissed and told I was passing enough urine, and that is normal afterbirth to feel uncomfortable. I persisted until a scan was finally done — revealing I had 2 litres of urine retained. A catheter was urgently reinserted, and only then did I feel relief. But again, the trauma continues.

That delay caused severe bladder damage. I had to leave hospital with a catheter and keep it in for three weeks after birth. I returned twice for failed TWOC procedures, crying at the humiliation of walking through the ward with a catheter bag. Even now, my bladder is weak, and I’ve had to work hard to rebuild strength and sensation.

I received a letter apologising from OUH stating that they take bladder stretch cases very seriously and postnatal bladder care is an area that they have identified as one they need to improve on. It made me wonder - how many more mums have gone through this?

Every time I pressed the bell, it felt like I was an inconvenience to them. I stopped pressing and asking for help. It made me feel like I was all on my own.

What also struck me was the two-tier system of care. Some mothers were given private rooms where partners could stay overnight, I found out after that you can PAY for a private room, while others were left on the ward with no support.

With the traumatic birth and catheter complications I experienced, I should have been given more support — if birth partners aren’t allowed to stay, then the midwives must step up and fill that gap. No mother should be left alone and unsupported at their most vulnerable.

The postnatal ward was hell. Mothers crying, babies screaming, and hardly any support. I cried the whole way home when I was finally discharged, relieved never to return to the hell that is the postpartum ward.

The labour itself was traumatic but unavoidable. The postnatal care was traumatising and preventable.

I have never felt so alone, humiliated, and depressed in my life. In a time that should be the best time of my life. No mother should ever be made to feel like this after giving birth.