"My mum used to be a midwife and described the whole thing as barbaric"

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2024:

I arrived at the Women's Centre on a stormy December night to find the main doors locked so had to wait whilst having contractions until a member of staff happened to be going inside.

In MAU we waited a while and were eventually given a side room, I was 4cm dilated and being sick, but it took a long time to be given anti-sickness meds after my mum and partner asked the MAU midwife several times - she was chatting in the office. I was in the side room for several hours waiting for an on-call midwife to arrive due to lack of staff - I've since found out it was the staff xmas party that night...

I'd been expecting Spires as I called them while at home and they told me to come in, but once there we were told it was off limits due to a broken lift, though I suspect that was also to do with the lack of staff.

I eventually moved to a delivery room with a pool. The on-call midwife was having trouble logging onto the IT system so was more preoccupied with that. I was still being sick and having awful back contractions, the gas and air only made me feel more nauseous/gave me acid reflux. Over the course of that night I had at least 3 on-call midwives and none of them could give me back injections for pain relief as it required an extra member of staff to be present.

By the time the day staff arrived I was 8cm, but my blood pressure was climbing and I was getting very swollen, so I was put on medication which meant I was limited to 50ml water per hour, so I was basically nil by mouth. We had to continuously ask the midwife and student midwife to provide acid reflux meds and to replenish the hot water bottle I was using on my back (basically my only pain relief other than mindful breathing techniques!), they were so slow to do anything and were constantly in and out of the room, it felt like we were leading things rather than them and they provided very little support.

My contractions had slowed down and my waters hadn't broken yet - they said if I hadn't dilated any more on next check they'd break them. The student midwife checked and said I was 9cm, however an hour or so later I was checked by a doctor who said I was still 8cm. My blood pressure was still climbing and my contractions had slowed right down, but nothing was done for ages.

They eventually broke my waters, but contractions were still fairly slow, so I was put on oxytocin drip. I was moved to another room - they told me it was so another lady could use the pool (I was unable to due to BP) but they told my mum it was to be closer to theatre.

The next room was dark, dingy and dirty, though I was beyond caring at this point. I was running on empty and had no idea how I'd have the energy to push a baby out. We voiced our concerns and asked if a c section should be considered, but they were adamant it was best to keep going. There was a lot of 'wait for the next check' but an hour feels like a long time when in labour!

I was eventually diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and a male registrar came in. When I voiced concerns about my extreme back pain and how I didn't know if I could do the final stage of labour he simply remarked 'It won't hurt when the baby's out'. I was too shocked to respond.

They increased the oxytocin and finally my contractions were stronger, though I had no urge to push. Before I knew it, they'd set up in the room for a ventouse delivery.

I can't remember how many people were in the room but it was quite a few. The registrar told me to push whenever I felt a contraction (difficult to do right when you don't have the natural pushing instinct and have been in labour for over 30 hours with no food or drink) and he then did 6 attempts at ventouse to no avail.

He numbed the area and did an episiotomy and eventually delivered my baby using forceps. My mum used to be a midwife and described the whole thing as barbaric - she only mentioned her experience after everything, and the staff looked visibly panicked.

The consultant on duty barged in at one point during the delivery saying 'about time, I've been worried about her all day' - no introduction, and if he'd been so worried, why had nothing been done sooner?

I was left with a 3b tear and had to go immediately into theatre to be stitched up for 1.5 hours. My baby was taken to HDU as she had an infection so I barely saw her and didn't see her again until the following morning.

After my surgery, I was left in the same nightie I'd been wearing through the entire labour and delivery so was covered in blood (I also learned I'd lost 2l of blood). I was numb from the waist down after surgery with a catheter so could barely move. I was so exhausted that I managed to sleep anyway.

Luckily my baby was only in HDU until the next evening, then we were both taken to L5 - both on antibiotics. On arrival we had no greeting or introductions. My partner had to leave at 8pm and I was a bit bewildered about what I should do with the baby if I needed the loo, when she needed her meds etc.

A nurse finally came at about 9pm to check us. I settled in for the night at 11pm only to be fetched by a member of staff who told me I had to take my baby down to HDU for her antibiotics as there weren't enough staff to come up and do it on L5. I had to explain that I was still wheelchair bound following the surgery and blood loss and she was visibly annoyed at having to accompany me. I was really confused and angry.

The next 5 days on L5 were awful and I still feel traumatised by the experience. How they expect anyone's blood pressure to go down in that environment is beyond me - constant noise, checks day and night so no sleep, stifling temperatures and no privacy or personal space.

On one occasion I was asked if I'd had my medication as they realised they had forgotten to give me it. On the second evening there I also had a surprise visitor - the male registrar who'd delivered my baby. He'd come unexpectedly to see how I was and if I had any questions (aka wanted to cover his tracks). I was eating my dinner so asked for a few minutes to prepare myself. He then proceeded to tell me that it wasn't my fault (why would I think it was?!) and he said 'you did a great job - your first push was meh' *wafts hand to indicate mediocrity*. He left me wondering if men should have anything to do with maternity services. I've since been told during our complaint meeting that he's moved back to Australia and had refused to respond to my complaint.

After 5 days on L5 I broke down in tears and insisted on being discharged, and a kind doctor actually listened to me and agreed it would be in my best interest. My BP was still high. We had to wait all day as it was a Saturday so barely any staff (running theme here) and my bay was bombarded with visitors for other patients - men standing around outside the toilet and where the sanitary towels were kept, children peeking through my curtain laughing.

Horrendous. I never want to set foot in there again.

Once home my BP quickly returned to normal. It wasn't until a community midwife visited me the next day that my stitches were even checked.

The complaint meeting we had in January was helpful for me to go through everything and have some validation from another consultant, however it then took until May (despite me chasing several times) for us to receive the follow up letter, which skirted around a lot of what was said.

I'm just glad neither me or my baby have lasting physical damage.