"The first pair of forceps were broken and the excruciating pain of them trying to make them work while they were inside of me is still something I can feel today"

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2018:

I had my daughter at OUH in 2018. I’d been in labour since the Wednesday afternoon and had been back and forth to the hospital on the Thursday. I was admitted to the Spires at 6am on Friday and laboured there most of the day, only dilating 2cm between 6am and 4pm when my waters were broken.

At around 9pm that evening I was transferred downstairs and into the only room available. I was then put on a drip to induce me, but nothing was ever explained. I’d said that I was worried because my Mum had a fourth degree tear with me, and my experience was going down a similar route. I was told there was no way I’d “qualify” for a caesarean and that I was silly to think my story would be the same as my mum’s. I get that, but I felt so stupid for saying anything and airing my concerns.

As the unit was so busy I was treated like an inconvenience. The bed was broken, the back of the bed was stuck in one position. There was no chair for my partner, he stood or sat on the edge of the bed until they found him a little stool a few hours later. After I’d been induced things got really tough.

I kept asking my husband what can we do because at this point I’d been awake 48hrs, which was also the last time I ate. He said to the midwife “what are our options?” And she just said “well you know what your options are. I don’t need to explain them to you.” So… we didn’t ask. We carried on.

I was on gas and air and hallucinating, and at one point a doctor came in and asked why I was still on the drip as I clearly didn’t need it.

At about 1am Saturday my husband asked the midwife again what can help and her response was “well if she needs an epidural you should have asked.” so slowly she made a request for an epidural, which due to how busy it was, didn’t arrive for another 5 hours.

Afterwards I managed to get my first sleep and had a 90min nap. By the time I woke up the shift had changed and we had a student midwife, who was really lovely.

Even though I had an epidural I could still feel everything, which was a surprise! I was in a lot of pain. I started pushing at 11am. At 12:30pm a consultant came in and said I was obviously still able to push so to keep going. The baby was stuck and by 1.15pm a whole host of people entered the room to do a forceps delivery.

The first pair of forceps were broken and the excruciating pain of them trying to make them work while they were inside of me is still something I can feel today. My husband heard the consultant question a midwife who said “I didn’t get them from the forceps cupboard, they were just there.” Eventually they found working forceps and the baby was born.

I ended up with a fourth degree tear with a tear extending down into my leg. I was in surgery for about 3hrs after delivery.

My story isn’t dramatic, and ultimately has a positive ending.

However there was constant low level dismissal of my concerns and a midwife who constantly dismissed me and my husband when we just needed help. We hadn’t done this before.

The pain of the tear lasted for over two years.

I had to sit on a donut pillow for 3yrs and narrowed my life due to the impact the tear had on my bladder control.

I have one daughter and that is it, I would never have another child as there is no way I could care for two children if the same thing happened to me again.