"16 years later I am still trying to get gynaecological repair"

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2010:

I had an extremely difficult pregnancy, including hyperemesis, cholestasis, kidney issues, arrhythmia - every check-up seemed to include something new. I was under the care of the Silver Star team who kept me sane but made it clear there was a possibility there would not be a happy outcome for either of us.

We got to delivery and labour went wrong, only saved by the fact that I was kept on a monitor because of the awful pregnancy. I had a placental abruption during contractions and started haemorrhaging internally; this set off the monitor alarm and the registrar on call appeared to deliver my son. There was no time for a c-section so he simply sliced me open vaginally and used forceps to deliver my son into the resuscitation incubator. My blood covered the floor.

We were kept in high dependency and then moved to the Silver Star ward where we stayed for about 10 days. It became clear almost immediately that I was physically damaged: I couldn't pee.

At first it was thought this would be momentary, so nurses catheterised me. After a few days there was concern that nothing had changed. Eventually in order to be discharged I was taught to self-catheterise. At that point we were sent home and simply signed off.

Still unable to urinate without self-catheterising, or enjoy any sexual feeling, I had a follow up appointment about 6 months later with the gynaecologist who told me "well, you've got your child now so none of the other things matter".

No treatment was given, no care provided. I was shamed for wanting to have a normal body back after giving birth. I full-time self-catheterised for more than 2 years after delivery, by which time my marriage was over.

16 years later I am still trying to get gynaecological repair to achieve normal urinary/sexual function again.

I was grateful to the clinical team for keeping us alive during pregnancy and delivery, but having a child shouldn't come at the cost of being a fully-functional woman.