"It was one of the worst experiences of my life and would have been avoided if we had just received the proper care"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2018:

When my youngest was born, and before I held her, she was put under a heat lamp. I commented that her face looked quite red, and they said it was because of the heat lamp, yet they didn't increase the distance from the lamp.

With my previous births, I was desperate to get home and pushed beyond my limits to get there. This time it was different; I felt extremely unwell and asked to be admitted. I had awful stomach pain, felt very weak and fatigued and could hardly move, something that I'd not experienced with my past postnatal experiences.

I was admitted to the ward late at night, and by morning, it was clear the staff were stretched very thin. The midwife told me that my medication had been ordered, and we would be fine to go home when it arrived. I explained that I felt very unwell and that I was concerned about my daughter's face still looking very red. I was told I would feel ill as I’d just given birth, and that the red face was normal and would fade. I felt too unwell to challenge it; anyone who knows me would know that this was a serious red flag!

My medication was slow to arrive, and the midwives kept saying the pharmacy was busy. I spent the day repeatedly asking for pain relief before it finally came; I waited hours and hardly saw the midwives, who did not listen to how I was feeling or to my concerns. By the end of the day, I asked again when the medication would arrive and was told that it hadn’t been ordered, and we would need to come back for it. This felt devastating; the drive alone would take an hour, plus parking and further waiting time for the medication, and all when I felt very unwell and had other children to look after. We were discharged, and I struggled to even walk to the car.

By the following day, I felt so unwell. After my husband had returned from the hospital with my medication, I went to see the GP and was told that my symptoms were gastroenteritis. I remember being surprised and saying that I’d had gastroenteritis before, and this experience was very different.

The day after, the midwife visited and said she thought my daughter had oral thrush and to phone the GP. The GP wanted to see her, and as I was too unwell to get out of bed, my husband took her alone. The GP was horrified when he saw her red face and immediately phoned the hospital for her to come in. I forced myself out of bed and went with them to the hospital, adrenaline and mothers love getting me through it. She was quickly admitted to the hospital and was there for a week, treated for a serious infection, nothing to do with a heat lamp.

The first morning she was there, the doctor was examining her and I had a dizzy spell. The doctor told me to go to the maternity assessment unit to get checked. It was on the other side of the hospital up the hill, and I had no idea how I would manage the walk. What should have taken no more than 15 minutes took me about an hour.

By the time I arrived, I was hanging onto the walls for support, with sweat pouring down me, feeling like I was going to collapse. I was diagnosed with endometritis; my Mum came to advocate for me and asked for a porter to take me to my daughter's ward. I spent the next week sleeping on a camp bed, with almost no food, advocating for and trying to look after a very poorly baby, while my own health took a back seat. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and would have been avoided if we had just received the proper care in the first place.

After our experience, I wanted to write a complaint to PALS about my maternity experience, but I also had the greatest sympathy for the midwives on the ward, as it was clear to anyone that there were nowhere near enough staff to be operating safely, and I didn’t want them to get into trouble when it had been out of their control.

I have considered writing about my experience here for a while, but decided against it as it felt like it paled in comparison to the women who have gone through truly horrific experiences and those who have lost their babies. I realise now that speaking up is for them, for the women who haven’t yet been and for the babies that haven’t yet been born, as much as it is for me.

I am adding our story in the hope that one day something changes.