"After 21 hours my son was born with shoulder dystocia via forceps and a mediolateral episiotomy weighing 5.1kg"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2018:

Our son was born in 2018 at the JR hospital after being induced 14 days overdue. Throughout the whole pregnancy our son was measuring 99th centile. We knew our dates as he was IVF so there was no confusion over conception times.

At our 34 week growth scan the baby measured 7lbs 14 oz. At the following midwife appointment at 36 weeks the baby was measured at 43 weeks the practitioner taking the measurements expressed her concern linked to the size and the possible need to be induced early.

Following the appointment, I was contacted by phone by another midwife to say I'd been given the wrong information and would only be induced if I presented with gestational diabetes. As I had been tested and hadn't been diagnosed, they would let me continue to carry the pregnancy naturally as there was no health benefits to early induction.

On the day of induction, we arrived at the hospital eager to meet our long awaited little boy and once in active labour were transferred to the labour area. I requested an epidural quite soon into the labour as the gas and air had made me vomit, I was told it wouldn't be too long as it was my second pregnancy and they wanted to hold off. I begged for one and eventually after 4 hours was given one.

Labour progressed and I started to feel the need to push and so was encouraged to do so but there was no progress. After examination it was found that my cervix hadn't opened properly and was holding the baby’s head in place. At this point the cervix was forcibly pulled back during an examination and I have honestly never felt pain like it. My husband described it as a scream you'd hear if someone was being murdered.

By this time I'd lost quite a lot of blood and baby wasn't happy. So was told I would be taken down to theatre where they would try and get the baby out via forceps and if that didn't work I would have to have a C section. After 21 hours my son was born with shoulder dystocia via forceps and a mediolateral episiotomy weighing 5.1kg which wasn't on the translation table to lbs as it only went up to 5kg. Followed by what the surgeon described as " the biggest placenta he'd ever seen"

Our son had bells palsy as a result of the pressure on his face from the forceps delivery which eventually rectified at around 6 weeks. The team seemed really surprised at the size of the baby despite all measurements from the 12 week scan being on the highest percentiles.

We were kept in hospital for three days for monitoring with quite restrictive visiting hours, so we were only able to have visitors in the evening. Some of midwives on the ward were caring, however there was an obvious need to get on the next patient and so it felt as we were being rushed through checks with limited care, communication and compassion.

My catheter leaked over the floor regularly as it was full and often felt some staff lacked empathy in their approach, were often rude and quite dismissive. As a result of all of these contributing factors the birth of our son was traumatic and on reflection, we as a family believe that much of this could have been avoided had I had been induced earlier.

I also experienced a second incident when faced with a failed miscarriage following IVF during July 2021. I was referred to have a medical miscarriage after a week of having a miscarriage diagnosed. I was told despite wanting to have the surgical miscarriage that the medical miscarriage would be offered because of COVID and the need to limit people that were being admitted. The medical miscarriage failed and I was booked into Banbury to undergo a surgical miscarriage. I was given no information and had to be dropped at the entrance to the hospital. Despite being at one of my most vulnerable states I had to go in alone.

Once in I was presented with the question of what I wanted doing with the "pregnancy matter" I had no idea I was going to faced with this and as a result had to consult my husband by phone visibly distressed at this point. The lady in the cubicle asked if she could see her "baby" and was told "no it wasn't possible because there isn't a baby just pregnancy matter". I absolutely understand that when you deal with these situations daily, they become your norm, but for many of the women in there and certainly for myself this was one of the most traumatic experiences I'd had my heart was broken and I had absolutely no support. I expected much more compassion.

When I was taken to theatre I felt really well looked after, however following the procedure they informed me that due to the length of time I'd been left to miscarry I had been treated for an infection. The pregnancy matter was tested and I was called to be informed that they couldn't rule out a molar pregnancy- I'd never heard of this and was pretty much left to do my own research being told I'd be checked up every three months. These checks were not carried out and I was left to do regular pregnancy tests and book appointments which the medical centre had no idea were required or what was required. There was a complete lack of communication between the services.