"After pleading for hours I was allowed an epidural, much to the disgust of the midwife who was wholly against this."

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2019:

I gave birth to my first child at the John Radcliffe hospital in 2019. It was a high risk pregnancy due to maternal type 1 diabetes.

My pregnancy had been relatively straight forward until a few admissions via MAU for repeat high protein readings. The cause for these high readings were never investigated or solved, and after a night or 2 I would be discharged home. This happened more than once.

At 31 weeks pregnant my waters partially broke at home. We went straight to MAU at 9pm. My waters fully broke in the waiting room. Contractions came immediately after. I was promptly seen by a doctor who confirmed that my waters had fully broken and I was 3cm dilated. The doctor told my partner and I that baby was coming tonight. I was taken to the delivery suite where contractions continued and became very painful. I was managing by walking around the room, supported by my now husband.

After a few hours the midwife, named [name], told me it was time to get onto the bed. I did not want to get onto the bed, but she insisted. I was in so much pain and incredibly anxious as my baby was going to be born 9 weeks early. The midwife did nothing to reassure us, nor did she offer acknowledgment that we were in premature labour. I had only paracetamol and gas and air. I could not tolerate the gas and air and eventually vomited. I was offered no further pain relief.

The midwife repeatedly shouted at me to calm down. The midwife continued and told me that my body may come out of this naturally, labour may stop. This was distressing.

She continued to tell me to calm down, told me that my screams were not helping. She went on to tell me that my baby is early and will be very small, I shouldn’t be reacting this way as the baby will be small. We asked what would happen as our baby was so early, will the baby be ok? We asked this several times and each time told the doctors will come to talk to you to prepare you both for this. They never came to talk to us.

After pleading for hours I was allowed an epidural, much to the disgust of the midwife who was wholly against this. We were given a new midwife and student midwife as a result of handover in the morning. [name] and [name] were amazing. They did everything they could to reassure us both, and took time to talk with us.

At lunchtime it was time to push, a team of around 5 came into the room and we had a forceps delivery. Our beautiful baby boy was born. As he was premature, he was immediately put into a plastic bag, I will never forget the noise and feel of this. Our son was taken to ICU and I was taken to theatre for suspected retained placenta. My now husband and family took me in a wheelchair to see our son in ICU. The staff on the observation ward did not offer to take me to see my son.

The next day whilst in ICU with my son, a student midwife abruptly came over and moaned that she had been trying to find me as she must do my blood sugar. She seemed wholly annoyed at me. I asked why she had not come to ICU, as this and my bed on the observation ward were the only places I would be. Why wouldn’t I be with my newborn son who is unwell?

When I was taken to the ward I was placed in a bay, surrounded by mothers with the babies. I sat there alone, with my son downstairs in ICU. It was only on my second night here did a kind healthcare assistant point out and say ‘YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE’, and explained that there are designated beds for mothers whose babies are on the NICU. She promptly took me to one of these beds, I was so very grateful for her.

I still do not feel that I have mentally recovered from the way we were treated by the midwifery team at the John Radcliffe hospital during and after our son’s birth.

Whilst pregnant with my second child some years later I was admitted due to having flu. Due to lack of beds I was placed on the delivery suite. As soon as I got into the room I completely froze, and broke down in tears. Luckily I was being looked after by a lovely midwife on this occasion. She offered me care and told me that what happened when your son was born never should have happened.

The fear of having the same experience for our 2nd birth in the coming months was just unbearable. The thought of any mother being ignored and belittled like I was fills me with sadness.

We consider ourselves extremely lucky and grateful, our son is healthy and he was shown OUTSTANDING care by the entire NICU team. We owe them everything.