"I had FOB "fear of Birth" when actually it was fear of the John Radcliffe"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2020 and 2025:

I was told by a previous midwife from my pregnancy with my 10 month daughter that I had FOB "fear of Birth" when actually it was fear of the John Radcliffe. I was explaining to her I didn't want to give birth in John Radcliffe due to my son’s birth in 2020 and explained why. Yet I had no choice but to have my 10 month old at John Radcliffe. Both times have been horrible.

My sons was the worst in 2020 during lockdown. My son was due on 30th May but no signs of him coming 2 weeks later I had a balloon catheter. At home that evening the balloon just fell out with a load of blood and horrible pain. Went to JR they told me balloon probably just broke when I know full well it was still intact, and they sent me home.

I passed out in the car from the pain, my now husband thought I was just asleep so carried me to bed. I woke up in agony blood everywhere. Went back to the JR they kept me waiting for 2 hours then took me to get the baby’s heart monitored but for some reason I was told I had to take all my clothes off for this.

Next thing I know a load of doctors and nurses come running in the heart rate has dropped. They was all panicking. Then suddenly they all just left and I was laid there for an hour stark naked, not knowing what was happening. Finally someone came in and told me to get dressed and go to a room told me they will inform me soon. No one ever did. That's it, I was left until 2 am then no food offered nothing.

Was told it’s time to go down and have my waters broken. Baby had muconia. I was given epidural but way too much I don't remember much about the birth. I remember pushing once then blacking out and next thing he's in my arms. That was it due to covid lockdown my now husband had to leave. I was told I will be going home the next day. And went to the room.

Next day come. Didn't see no doctor, no one came to check on us. 2 days later my son finally had the check but was told to go to a room with other people after. Still unaware why I’m still here. Tried video calling my husband so he could see the baby. As he was not allowed to visit but was told if I don't have headphones I’m not allowed to video call. A midwife came in and I started crying. I've asked so many times what's wrong with my baby why are we here and she said I’ll find out. Never found out.

I kept crying as i wanted to know what was wrong. It’s wrote down on my notes "she’s crying again" well i was a first time mum at 22 and no one had told me what’s wrong it’s now been 3 days. Have no idea why we're here. I've run out of clean clothes so has the baby but my husband wasn’t allowed in. He said he can leave them at the door for someone to get but midwives said they was too busy. And I wasn’t allowed out my room.

Finally someone told me that my son is having antibiotics for herpes he didn't have. But I don't have herpes? And even if you thought i did why haven't you checked me? They checked me, no i don't have herpes. I woke up one night and my baby had gone so I panicked walking around. One midwife said they took him for his antibiotics and didn't want to keep waking me up every 2 hours for it.

6 years later those antibiotics have killed his gut and its never grew back so now he's with bladder and bowel and has been on movicol for 5 years. Endless years of appointments, that wrong medication at birth left him with idiopathic constipation and he's currently on 12 satchets a day and hes only just turning 6.

2 hours later I was woken by a midwife saying other midwives ‘have your baby, can’t you look after him. Don’t think you’re going to be a good mum. Have you got any help at home’. I told her what the other midwife told me she just grunted. Then she told me that ‘normally we wipe front to back with girls’. My reply was ok I know how to wipe myself. She said ‘no your baby’, I replied he's a boy. But she wouldn't accept he was a boy and said ‘I’m worried how you wipe yourself’. There was one lovely midwife at night watched my baby so I could go and get clothes of my husband. I’ll never forget her.

6 days later, turns out my boy didn't have herpes but a cold and flu virus. So they gave him the wrong medication. (Fast forward to 2026. My son is on 12 sachets of movicol due to that medication destroying his gut when he was a baby). Then I was told he needs a lumber puncture, but they want to trial the new way. I had to decide then and there. I put my foot down, no way was my baby being used a trial. Old way please.

Then we was taken down stairs and someone explained the home treatment when you take your baby home and come back for medication. She then left and another midwife came to speak about treatment and I said about the home treatment. She threatened to call social services on me as I wanted to leave my baby at hospital. That is not what I said or told. So I broke down again to another midwife who then said no you can do the home treatment and come back with him for medication. 7 days later we're finally home.

Now I was told its covid’s fault for them not telling me what was wrong with the baby. The first thing you should do is tell the mother what is wrong with their child. No matter what virus is going around.

Now in 2025, I had my daughter. Even after I expressed how much I did not want to go to JR, I was told my baby is small so I have to. My daughter had the exact same due day as my son did – 30^th. But due to her size they wanted her out earlier. So on the 25th I got induced. Much better with my husband with me but he didn't stay like everyone else because we had a box room nowhere for him to lay. However there was no one available to take me down to give birth.

I finally got took down on the 27th. This time I had gas and air until I desperately needed epidural and my husband was in charge of that so no black outs and I remember everything. But the epidural doctor. Well, my husband had a go at him and asked for another one as while I was being checked by midwives the epidural doctor kept coming in after he gave me the epidural and kept staring "down below" I wasn’t aware he was doing it but my husband had watched him a few times now. And apparently another man in room next to us just made the same complaint.

I kept being sick and the midwife just stared at me not knowing what to do. My husband cleaned me up and the bed. When my girl’s head was slightly out the midwives went out to "get advice". I was confused, my baby's there? She came back and said “well I've been told you can push but I reckon you should wait”. I said no. Pushing you can she her head? Why would I wait? Baby came out perfectly healthy.

Midwives left and yet again my husband was left to clean up my blood and everything. I was desperate to get out, the smells especially of sick made me more sick. As there's no windows I was desperate for fresh air. I was told no.

5 hours later still in the same room. Continued being sick and asked again, and then they finally let me. I went outside and came in, no more sick – felt so much better. Really my baby girl didn't need touching. I fully believe she would of come out in her own time. She could of had serious issues with me being left in about that long after being induced.