"They got him out put him on my chest and then whipped him off me as I had torn inside and out"

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2018:

I was 42 when I fell pregnant with my miracle baby. The pregnancy itself was ok. I was sent for a Gestational Diabetes check as they measured the baby’s size incorrectly. When I went for an appointment for the results they told me they didn't know why I was sent and thought the measurement had been taken wrong.

On my last scan (they do a 3rd at the John Radcliffe) I was told my son had a very big head. I had spoken to the clinic about the birth as I was worried as had been told I a retroverted uterus when I was in my 20s. I was told this would correct itself in pregnancy. It was never checked. I was told because of my age I would not be allowed to go more than a week over my due date at the most.

This was the 1st November 2018. I had been for a sweep and nothing had happened and was due to go in to be induced on Thursday 8th November. I got a call on the 7th to say they were too busy so I would need to come in on the 9th. I explained about being told I couldn’t' go over. They said it was safer and I would get better care.

On Thursday 8th I went to the loo at about 10pm and there was a bit of blood, so we called the midwife unit and they told me to go to the hospital.

On the way in my contractions started. When I got to the unit I was put on a monitor - the strap round the belly (I was never examined). I was told I was not in labour or experiencing labour pains which were about 5min apart, we were sent home at 1:30am and told to come back at 7am for the planned induction.

The next morning we went in and once again I explained I was having contractions 5min apart. Again they put the band around my belly and told me this was not the case. Once the induction medication was prescribed they went to administer it (physical check) and I was told oh you are in labour!!

I was pretty much left for most of the day and when they pain got too much I got my husband to go to the nurses to get me some relief. I wasn't looked at physically till late in the afternoon when they realised I was 6cm dilated and then panicked as my waters hadn't broken. They then broke these in the ward before I went downstairs to the delivery suite. Their was meconium in my waters when they broke.

When I got to the maternity ward I ask for an epidural. By now I had been up for 36 hours already so was grateful I could doze. I then started violently vomiting and couldn't stop. I felt a wet patch next to me and queried it with the midwives.

At some point the monitor for the babies heartbeat went quiet and all hell broke loose with an alarm being hit and people rushing in. They manage to find it. By this stage I was 10cm but the baby needed time to calm down before being delivered. I was still puking.

The wet patch on my bed was because the epidural had been leaking and when they connected it back up they think it made the babies heart beat spike. The band around my tummy they were using was still not picking up any contractions and didn't for the entire time. I was exhausted by the time I had to push.

Due to no sleep and puking and everything that was going on. I started pushing and my son got stuck. I can't tell you how long this went on, then a whole lot of people ran into the room and said the baby was in distress and we had to get it out. They used forceps, I remember the dr who had now come in telling the midwives they need to put the breaks on the bed as it was moving when he was trying to pull my son out. Their reply was that the breaks were on.

I was totally out of it and still being sick. They got him out put him on my chest and then whipped him off me as I had torn inside and out. I remember the dr being stood over me with his arm inside me pulling while a midwife pushed my stomach. I don't know what they were doing. I do remember something about my uterus not contracting.

I had to be stitched inside and out as I was bleeding so much. I also remember them counting swabs and they couldn't find one. They eventually found it in the placenta that had been taken away. I was still puking and couldn't be given anything to stop it until the bleeding was under control. Once I was given the medication for the puking I pretty much collapsed from exhaustion.

My son was born just before 3am and I was only able to hold him proper at about 7am as was in such distress. The main midwife I had was incredible and I can't fault her. She was kind and made me feel safe.

We had asked to pay for one of the private rooms if there was one as I was in a mess. We were wheeled up there at about 2pm, 11 or so hours after I gave birth in the delivery suite. I had a catheter in but they had no catheter stands so it was tied to the bed. I couldn't get up to pick up my baby or do anything.

My husband had to go get the maternity pads for me and ask for something to empty the catheter into as once in that room we were just left. I was never examined, the only thing they did before I was let out of the hospital on the Sunday evening was to see if the baby had latched on .

I was given injections to inject because of the blood loss. The midwife came and saw me on the Sunday morning once her shift was over and advised me to go to speak to the hospital about the birth as she said it had been so serious and I could have died. We left the hospital and I was not well.

On the Tuesday my husband insisted on taking me to the drs in Thame as I was in such a bad way. The stitches had split and 2 abscesses had grown. I was tachycardia and put on 2 types of antibiotics and given strong pain meds.

On the Wednesday we called the midwife centre as there was blood in my sons nappy. We were told not to worry and to speak to the midwife on the day 5 visit the next day. When the midwife came round on the Thursday afternoon my son had lost 15% body weight and had a sunken fontanelle. She couldn't believe we had not been told to go to the hospital the night before.

We went to the JR straight away and to cut a long story short we were both re-admitted to hospital. We were both there for 5 days. We were admitted at 11pm. I was told he could be tube fed but I couldn't stay with him or he could be bottle fed and stay with me in the ward. I went for this option.

They asked me which feed so I said I didn't know what did they have. They said they couldn't tell me as that couldn't be seen as pushing bottle feeding instead and they had to be impartial. I was so ill I couldn't barley stand so my husband hose the only one he could thing of Aptimal.

We were taken to the ward and I was put on a breast pump. I had never used one and I was just left. I finally called the nurse after it being on for about an hour. And she said you shouldn't have turned it off. I said I didn't know how to use it.

All the visits I had were in regards to my son latching on to me. Something he did absolutely fine. The issue I was having was the amount of milk. No one would listen to me when I was asking if it could be by this point I was on 24 tablets a day of medication. I felt totally let down.

On the Sunday my son had put on enough weight but they didn't want me to go home as no one had checked my abscesses and the hole where they were - I had been told by the gp this would have to heal on its own and I wasn't allowed to submerge in water until it was healed. I had been in the hospital since 6pm on the Thursday night - on the ward from 11pm. Not one dr had come to look at it.

I had had no sleep due to the poor mom on my ward whose new born baby just scream and she was given no help.

The hole took 4 months to heal. It affected everything as I couldn't go for walks with my son as was too painful. Due to my mom being diagnosed with a terminal illness I didn't get to go back to the hospital to talk about what happened.

When I eventually did, I saw a lady who was on crutches who gave me no information and when I asked about the lost heartbeat, my puking, my son getting stuck etc I was just fobbed off. I didn't feel confident contradicting her and felt it was a total whitewash.