"We were hounded by the feeding team and midwives constantly"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2024:

I went into premature labour (35+4) in July 2024. My initial experience in the assessment unit was positive, with the midwife attending to me being very supportive, encouraging and engaging.

In the delivery suite, this completely changed. I had 2 midwives in with me, one repeatedly uttered 'well done' and nothing else for the entire time, while the other said nothing. I was often left on my own while they were on computers. I was kept on my back, no birthing ball or other positions offered or encouraged. The gas and air was taken off me by a consultant and no other pain relief offered.

After hours of actively pushing, and me asking for help and expressing that I couldn't do it, and 3 different examinations, it was finally agreed that baby wasn't coming out without assistance as the head wasn't engaged properly.

The treatment (or lack of) received by the midwives made me feel as though as I was invisible. There was no communication, no sign that they were listening to me or really present at all for the birth. Thankfully, I couldn't fault the experience in the operating theatre and I delivered a wonderful baby girl.

My husband and I noticed, and flagged to two different members of staff, that our little one was grunting while she was breathing. We were told this was fine. A few hours later, when we called a nurse to help with getting baby to latch, she immediately commented on her breathing and asked a Dr to take a look. From there, our daughter was taken to NICU and put in an incubator.

The next day, she was receiving jaundice treatment, although this wasn't explained to us – we recognised what it was from previously attending online classes. After being released from NICU and transferred to the transition unit on level 5, we experienced a further week of distressing situations.

We were hounded by the feeding team and midwives constantly – I was lucky that my little one took to the breast naturally and fed well. This was impacted slightly by the fact that she had to keep receiving jaundice treatment, meaning I couldn't spend as long Nursing her as I would ordinarily. I was receiving conflicting messages constantly: make sure you rest, but also spend hours feeding your little one, then pump and ensure she has a 40ml top up. But also make sure she doesn't spend much time out of the blue lights.

On one occasion, a nurse felt it appropriate to lecture me at 3am about wasting milk by having 60ml in a bottle rather than 40ml. And all seemed to ignore the fact that our little one was quite happily feeding from me  and refused milk from a bottle. The feeding team then wanted to keep us in for longer, even when she started gaining 35g per day they did not leave us alone, and despite me crying and requesting to please stop talking to me about it (it was making me want to quit breastfeeding so they could tick that '40ml' box) and making me feel as though it was my fault that her jaundice levels kept rising.

We requested it to be looked at for us to be moved to community care for Jaundice, but we were told this was not possible and made to feel guilty for asking this. Despite getting PALs involved, they wouldn't even look into this being an option. After submitting a complaint in September, it was confirmed that we could have been released to the Horton for Jaundice, but the staff were unaware. Meaning we spent an additional, unnecessary 7 days in hospital. With myself in a shared ward for the majority of it, listening to loud phone calls by other patients about stabbing, partners cheating, loud tv until 2am and alarms going off for an hour - and my husband driving over an hour to visit us each day, and the same for the drive back.

I was eventually moved to a private room after the paediatrician had told us we would be going home that evening, despite the feeding team not wanting us to – she could see our little one was feeding well and looking healthy, but jaundice levels put a dampener to this and after hours of arguing with the feeding team, I cried that I felt we were being held hostage so they moved us to a private room. (By this point, we could have already been home days ago and receiving treatment locally. If they had only checked.)

When discharge day eventually came round, they didn't complete any of the checks or paperwork they needed to for me, and this was picked up by my local hospital. The days following at the Horton where daughter continued to receive jaundice checks, and a referral to the prolonged jaundice clinic, the service and diligence received there really highlighted how awful our experience at the JR had been.

This was my first child, and due to this experience, will likely be my only one.

I submitted a request for birth debrief in November, I have yet to receive a reply. I also submitted a request for my notes in November. I have not received these and after following up last week, I was informed that they were still processing requests received in October '24.

Also to note, it is noted on my medical record that I have a history of anxiety and severe clinical depression. I cannot see that an ounce of consideration, care or concern was shown towards me and no awareness that the situation may have been exacerbating these symptoms.