"I asked for a birth debrief and went in to, again, be shamed by the midwife"

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2019:

I had my first child at JR in 2019. There were a number of failings which started with me being sent home by the midwife in Spires at 11pm on a Friday night as she said I wasn’t in labour as she didn’t think I having contractions.

 I was very much in labour but I had a UTI (unknown at that point, they said it was a trapped nerve) and the pain from that was masking contraction pain (I was 5cm dilated when I was sent to up to Spires and having regular contractions as measured on a monitor…just I couldn’t feel them so the midwife said I wasn’t having contractions).

The midwife in the Spires just looked at me and said she could ‘see’ I wasn’t in labour, but wouldn’t even check my dilation or listen to my pleas. I said I’d prefer to go back to the main hospital rather than go home but she said ‘no’ and I went home.

When I returned to the hospital the following morning, they presumed I had come from the Spires and were shocked to hear I’d been sent home. I was then started on IV antibiotics and ended up having an emergency c-section despite being 9cm dilated.

The labour itself was not traumatic but the aftercare in the postnatal ward was awful.

As I had a catheter in, I felt no desire to pee and as a result didn’t go to the bathroom. So I was shocked when I stood up and blood ran all over my sheets, legs and the floor. I called the midwife and asked for more pads as I hadn’t brought enough and she shamed me saying ‘did you not realise you were having a baby’.

Probably not the best response to a sleep deprived new mother.

She wouldn’t give me a clean pair of compression stockings…it was one per person…so I spent the remainder of my time in bloody stockings sleeping on bloody sheets. I also had to learn how to change my catheter bag as it would overflow otherwise…something I never expected to have to do in a hospital setting.

I had my baby on Sunday morning and repeatedly asked to see a breastfeeding specialist who finally came on Wednesday afternoon (we stayed in hospital for longer as my daughter was put on antibiotics on the Monday). The whole experience, which was set in motion by being sent home by the midwife on Friday night.

I asked for a birth debrief and went in to, again, be shamed by the midwife…at no point did hold up their hands and say the care was not okay, instead they said that I had an emergency C-section as I didn’t start my maternity leave early enough and hadn’t allowed my body to prepare for labour (I started it at 38 weeks and had my C-section at 41+5 days).

This left me with PTSD.

I fell pregnant again in 2021 and after breaking down on my checking appointment I transferred to royal Berks for consultant led care. The consultant at RB read my medical notes from JR and they actually apologised for them. This experience was completely different to JR…holistic and healing.

Even thinking about having to step back in the JR is still a trigger 6 years on.