"I feel my birth was stolen from me and the opportunity to have any future children."

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2022:

I was offered an amniocentesis at my 20 week scan as my baby was diagnosed with bilateral talipes. I was afraid of miscarriage so advised to have this at 35weeks.

35 weeks came (after the entire pregnancy worrying about this procedure) and I attended the appointment - the consultant basically made me feel stupid and said what’s the point in going forward as I would be keeping the baby. I didn’t have this procedure in the end because of this. I had also been attending the MAU on numerous occasions from 30 weeks with potential leaking of amniotic fluid. I was made to feel I was starting to make it up.

When I last went into MAU as felt labour was beginning, I stated I had leakage as per the prior times before but had been told my waters were intact. They tested and found that I had in fact had been leaking fluid all this time from a small tear towards the top of the sac. I was told I would be induced but the midwife did inform me to ensure my pain was kept on top of prior to induction commencing as I had concerns about the pain of induction.

I was sent home as there were no beds in the delivery suite. I returned to the MAU as pain was becoming unbearable and was kept in the MAU with no pain relief/ anyone checking on me for many hours. I finally got to the delivery suite and was attached to a drip (I assumed it was fluids). It was the drug to commence induction. I had had no pain relief and did not consent to having this prior to my pain relief.

I then experienced a total of 34 hours in pain without pain relief as countless epidurals failed by numerous consultants and trainees. I had a total of 12 marks on my back from their attempts. I was also told my spine was “crunchy” during one of these attempts with many doctors huddling around. It was so degrading.

I asked for a caesarean and the consultant anaesthetist denied me this and made me feel like I just wasn’t coping with a normal birth. I was given a spinal block so that I could rest for 30 mins. I remember turning to my midwife and whispering “I feel really traumatised”. She mentioned the birth reflections process at OUH to me during this small period of rest.

The consultant anaesthetist finally managed to give me an epidural correctly after 34 hours and I was made to push for 2 hours with no progress made. They scanned me and found my baby was back-to-back (hence the pain - I’m also unsure how they missed this) and I was told I couldn’t give birth vaginally.

They prepped me for a c section but wanted to try to get my baby delivered via forceps. They managed this but I have had to have corrective surgery privately due to the issues this has caused me. In order to have this surgery I’ve had to make a decision to not have any further children moving forward.

It has all been an awful experience, I feel my birth was stolen from me and the opportunity to have any future children.