"In NICU I rarely saw nurses and would sing to comfort the other tiny babies in the bay my daughter was in"

A mother’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2013:

My daughter was under consultant care due to growth restrictions. Induced at 37 weeks in 2013.

We were asked to be part of research which were we're told mircoplastics and links in small babies was being looked into.

During labour daughter’s heart wasn't great and labour was slowed. I just water broke as already dilated as I had three children before. No pessary was given.

I was left, not checked on enough and had been given IV drug to speed up labour.

Next thing the bed is being moved and I was crying. I kept asking what was going on. I then said what the ‘F**k is happening’ as moving through the door to corridor. I was told off by a JR dr for swearing.

I was taken to theatre where I was told I needed emergency c-section. This was going to be under a GA. My husband wasn't with me, didn't know what was happening. They changed it to epidural where they told me the placenta had come away and my daughter was distressed. I remained calm through it all.

Our daughter was sent to NICU were I told my husband to go with her.

After I was left to recover from epidural no information about my daughter. My husband took me too see our daughter in wheelchair as my legs were taking longer to come out of epidural. I fainted in NICU and was taken by NICU nurse & husband back to bed.

Next day I was walking and had to go downstairs to see my daughter. I bruised from under breasts down to thighs. I looked like I'd been hit by a car. My husband had to help me shower as nurses told me to wash. I missed meals & meds. I then was struggling to talk a couple of days later.

A midwife order me to bed upon checking me she emergency called Dr. Dr was concerned I had internal bleeding. I actually had an infection. I developed an infection. I was treated by IV antibiotics. I also developed a hernia that was discovered weeks after and now my scar/tummy hangs on left side.

In NICU I rarely saw nurses and would sing to comfort the other tiny babies in the bay my daughter was in. During this training dr would ask to learn on my daughter which I agreed as they need to learn.

I feel student doctors & the research was more important than our care. My daughter spent approx 6 days in NICU. Treated for fluid/blood in lungs & infection. I lost nearly enough blood for transfusion.

When leaving study it was made clear they were not happy as wanted us to travel 1.5 hours as husband in armed forces. I was not told not to get pregnant for a period of time after c-section & the breastfeeding would make it unlikely to get pregnant.

7 weeks after 4th birth I was pregnant again. I was told I may need to terminate pregnancy by midwife & I should've known the risks. Never had c-section before. We had to wait until 18-20 weeks to see consultant. We had discussed terminating, emergency plans if I bled out while husband wasn't home as 2 children under 2 years old & 2 older. I was again under consultant care.

We moved and chose to have our 5th at specialist hospital 1.5 hours away from our home to be closer to family. I had to travel regularly for checks. I had a successful VBAC and my care under that hospital was totally different. Faced the same issues in pregnancy & during planned labour at 37 weeks. Nurse with us at all times. I'm grateful that my daughter & my life was saved but I have always wondered what happened, why it happened, was it my fault & other questions that were never answered.

My husband was traumatised by it all. Due to have a job in NHS & in community I remained very calm until coming home where I struggled to breastfeed & daughter wasn't waking for feeds. She was admitted again as refusing to feed.

I have FB records about this as it was hell. They looked at me as the problem & I wasn't feeding her. They were watching everything I did, especially during feeding. They wanted me to her for 3 hours without a feeding. She was screaming, another parent had a go at me and nurses had to step in as I was upset.

I refused to follow doctors feed plan after 48 hours of little to no sleep. I explained she was my 4th baby I knew what was best her and feed her on demand via formula. I was gutted I could no longer feed her and felt I failed.

I was treated so badly during this stay I made a complaint.