"We are heartbroken parents, grieving the tragic loss of our firstborn son"

Parent’s experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2025:

We are heartbroken parents, grieving the tragic loss of our firstborn son, [son’s name].

It was such a difficult pregnancy, with hyperemesis gravidarium tormenting our brave [mother’s name] morning, noon and night. Throughout pregnancy [mother’s name] also suffered with UTI’s and general bloated feeling from second trimester. One of her final UTI’s she suffered visual disturbances believing this was a symptom of the anti-biotics she was taking and after calling 111 to confirm. She had a fever sometime in second trimester believing this was something pregnant women got from time-to-time and reading up on it online.

We were so looking forward to welcoming a new life into our world. We'd both worked so hard to prepare a space, and a life where our new baby would flourish and really felt we'd earned the joy of our little boy that we expected to arrive in February 2026. Unfortunately, our world was torn to shreds.

On Wednesday 17th, [mother’s name] was admitted to MAU after showing protein in her urine a few days before, and locally on Wednesday the mid-wife tracked raised blood pressure. At the hospital, the doctors confirmed an onset of pre-eclampsia based on high blood pressure, and elevated levels of creatinine in her blood. She was immediately put on BP meds and advised to stay in overnight ‘to be monitored’.

[Mother’s name] raised a symptom of shaking legs, so they changed her BP meds. Whilst in hospital she recorded every BP result, and asked every medical staff “How’s the BP now?” “How’s baby?”. Then seeing various doctors and informing them of symptoms of vomit, firm tummy (uterus) and visual disturbances - all signs of pre-eclampsia.

On Thursday a mid-wife uses the CTG machine to pick up baby's heart rate, but it keeps disconnecting and connecting. [Mother’s name] mentions this but she says it's fine. On Thursday night, she's throwing up.

On Friday we head for an ultrasound and informed about a decrease in size to 5% percentile and referred to the Fetal Medicine Unit for a more intimate scan. Despite the urgency, the next available scan is for Monday. [Mother’s name] was offered steroid injections as she was advised she would need to deliver early and this would help baby’s lungs grow. She was very overwhelmed at the thought of needing to rush this decision and declined. "Hoping I can accept them in the morning".

On Friday night "I am walking from toilet bay to toilet bay feeling constipated but not able to pass a bowel movement – to quiet room speaking to [baby’s name]. Something not feeling right and I could not settle. I head back to my bay", “[Mother’s name] you don’t seem very well…” remarks a mid-wife. Student mid-wife cannot make CTG work or so she believed. Goes to get her partner mid-wife. Mid-wives cannot detect baby’s heartbeat. They ask doctor to come up and scan her. Doctor brings in what appears to be more of an intimate ultrasound machine and inform [mother’s name] of placental abruption and baby’s passing at approximately midnight on Friday 19th/into Saturday.

[Mother’s name] was moved down to the delivery suite, left alone to call her Mum and me to come to the hospital. "I had to hold this news by myself in the room until they arrived. Several consultants, anaesthetists and mid-wives visited me. I felt fear-mongered when informed that if things turned, I would need to go for an emergency c-section, under general anaesthetic with a tube down my throat. My iron was low, my platelet count was low, as well as my blood pressure still being high. It was all worrying. I was being prodded and poked for blood samples, a catheter fitted, induced vaginally, given a blood transfusion, asked to sign away and deliver my passed baby boy, thankfully naturally."

Aggravatingly, there was mention of HELLP syndrome a few days after birth when we were on the bereavement ward. "Of course I carry self-blame of not having the steroid injections, anything I didn’t raise during pregnancy or anything that could have caused it, but I’m not medically qualified. This shouldn’t be my fault."