"They then brought out the forceps and clanged them around like they were tongs for a bbq"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2017:

I fell pregnant with my first child in 2017. The pregnancy was going well but i had been told that I was carrying a large baby due to my measurements.

Towards the end of the pregnancy my anxiety was overwhelming after being told things like ‘don’t pack new born clothes, this baby will be going straight into 0-3months’ by one of the midwives.

I begged for a c-section and was extremely concerned that if I didn’t have one, my child may end up having a shoulder dystocia, which I knew from research and a friend who lost her baby, that this could be fatal. I begged for a c-section and spoke of my concerns multiple times but it fell upon deaf ears.

I got to 40 weeks and my baby still hadn’t arrived. I again, cried and begged for a section and was told by 41 weeks this baby would be out.

At my 41 week appointment, the midwife changed her mind and detracted the early induction that she had promised me.

I went into the JR when I was 42 weeks pregnant for an induction. I warned the midwives about my fear of having a shoulder dystocia and that I’d like and would need a C-section but this was brushed off. I was asked to write a birthing plan and had indicated my need for a C-section and if possible not to use forceps as again, I’d developed a fear around this.

After a painful 24 hours in inductive labour, my son still hadn’t made an appearance. I was then asked to start pushing. Nothing happened. A doctor had been called, who had a student with him, and they began with a ventouse to try and get my son out. This failed.

They then brought out the forceps and clanged them around like they were tongs for a bbq.

Within minutes of using the forceps, I knew something was wrong. My son's head had been delivered but his body was still stuck behind my pelvis. We had a shoulder dystocia and I knew we only had 7 minutes to get him out.

A red buzzer was pressed and the room filled.

I was put in to the McRoberts position and the team ended up ripping my son out of me. I had around 5 seconds with my son before being wheeled out of my delivery room. I hadn’t even been moved into theatre!

I lost litres of blood and was in and out of consciousness. My husband and son were not allowed to see me in theatre, which I was in for at least 2 hours.

My husband was left in a room which he can only describe as a war scene. Blood everywhere with tyre tracks of blood leaving the room. Left with a new baby and no idea if his wife was alive or not.

After being stitched up, a number of midwives had told me I deserved an apology for how I’d been treated. I didn’t get this.

My son's birth impacted me tremendously. I developed bipolar after the trauma of his birth and went into antenatal psychosis and depression with my second child, which led to me having a 3 month stay at a mother and baby unit.

The bipolar has completely destroyed my life and it’s only 7 years on that I’m able to start managing it with medication and therapy.

This is a very high level view of what happened.

I forgot to mention, my son's birth weight was 11lbs which gave me a stage 3 tear. We knew all along he was going to be a large baby.