"Turns out my son was given untested breast milk"

A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2021/22:

My son was born prematurely at 33 weeks. My prenatal care was exceptional and my c section was painless and they put me at ease.

It was the aftercare that was awful.

I was able to hold him very briefly before he was taken to high dependency unit. This was at 3pm, I was told I was going to be taken to see him asap. It took until 11pm that night before I got to see him again and that is only because I told them if no one took me to see my baby I was ripping my catheter out and making my own way down.

I was given hiv by my ex-husband unknowingly so was advised not to breastfeed. We were asked if we wanted donated breast milk and we said yes please. We never received any. We were ignored by most of the staff the whole time.

I signed myself out of hospital the next day after my c section due to the aftercare.

Before I gave birth, I was told as my son would be in high dependency for at least 7 weeks and we lived 15 miles away so we would get a place at Ronald McDonald House immediately. This never happened, so it was a 60 mile round a day for 2 weeks.

We only got a place as I got fed up with them going over to other parents in front of us who had only just come in and lived 3 miles away get given a place straight away. My partner confronted them after 2 weeks. The woman flustered and said she was just about to come see us and they finally had a bed. No one was available to take us there (despite her saying the opposite to the couple 2 beds over), so just come over.

We were also not told there was a parent tea room so we spent from 9am-6pm sat by our son in HDU with 1hr30 minute break a day as we thought we had to buy from machines near the entrance which was costing a fortune.

The worst though was being taken into a side room by a ward sister one day who apologised profusely for the milk mix up. It had been tested afterwards and was safe. Me and my partner had no idea what she was on about.

Turns out my son was given untested breast milk and no one had told us. The first we knew was during the apology when the sister had assumed we knew. Neither of us had a clue but wrongly assumed that the other had been told.

I had another emergency c section 11 months later. This was the worst pain I have ever been in apart from natural birth 22 years before. I again signed myself out against my consultant’s advice the next day. Again, the aftercare was bad.

Yet again I had multiple doctors and nurses telling me off for not breastfeeding (it happened with my son a year earlier) despite me being advised not to.